Going over my pilot with MTV.
In January 2013 I had the opportunity to perform at the Maumee Indoor Theatre in front of over 400 people. It was a really great experience.
Holly Hotel (Nov. 2012)
Ricky Gervais selected me as one of the finalists in the Conan Just Sayin’ Stand Up Competition.
Grumpy Dave’s (Sept. 2012)
Comedy should never be outside at 4 pm.
I started doing stand up in October 2010. These are some old photos from my first year of comedy. For the first year and first year only, I wore a blazer on stage. At the one year mark, I shed the blazer and became the usually flannel-clad comedian that stands before you now.
Performing at the now defunct Connxtions Comedy Club in Toledo (Dec 2011).
Myself with Dan Cummins after doing a guest set.
I distinctly remember this flyer outshining the actual show.
Myself with Mike Kosta after doing a guest set. For some reason I have no hair.
Performing at Laff Tracks Novi. I believe this was the last appearance of the blazer (Oct 2011).
On stage at Joey’s Comedy Club.
Backstage at Joey’s Comedy Club with Matt Evans.
Backstage at Joey’s with Carl Johnson.
A local magazine wrote an article about my stand up. In retrospect it was really silly because I was so new. I still have no idea what the headline mean, but it was still a very fun experience.
Mark Ridley’s Comedy Castle.
A really creepy picture of me at Laff Tracks (Dec 2010).
It seems like no matter who the Academy chooses to host the Oscars, viewers are unhappy or offended. I can’t help but think the root of evil in all of this is comedy. So, rather than keep fighting this ongoing battle to please everyone, I suggest the Academy takes a different approach next year and purges the Oscars of all humor. That being said, here are (in no particular order) my suggestions for who would be the safest hosts for the 86th Annual Academy Awards.
Mitt Romney’s Sons:
Nothing says classic Hollywood like this soon to be irrelevant group of Mormons. Will there be musical numbers?? No. No there will not be.
Alan Rickman as Severus Snape:
If you’re worried about him breaking character after the monologue, DON’T BE. It’s going to be three and a half hours of nonstop stoic Professor Snape antics.
The Yoda Puppet From The Original Star Wars Films:
The most important thing to take into account here is that there will be absolutely NO puppeteers. The Yoda puppet will remain silent and motionless on a stool throughout the entire show. We can all watch in awe as the producers simply build the show AROUND the puppet. It may not be interesting to everyone, but at least it’s tame.
Mean Gene Okerlund (Featured Left):
Though he may be unknown outside the world of retro professional wrestling, Mean Gene is the right man for the job. The biggest night in Hollywood is no match for this mild mannered man. Not only does he consistently sport a sensible tuxedo and mustache, he has mastered the art of holding a one-sided conversation with Andre the Giant.
A Novelty Drinking Bird:
You seem skeptical… but consider this, it can drink various beverages throughout the night. Good clean American fun.
Pope Benedict XVI:
He stepped down from the papacy, so he could step up at the Oscars! Even without the whole former Pope angle, let’s face it, the man is CHARMING. Plus who can say no to the fun of reading that many subtitles??
The Blue Man Group:
This idea is fucking bullet proof.